I have been wanting to write this blog for a long while now. Through all my work, I have finally come to write down my experiences and feelings from my adventure in Estonia. On August 23, 2019, I arrived at Tallinn Airport. It was very sunny and for Estonian standards, you could say that it was pretty hot. My dad traveled with me and we decided to discover the city together. At first we got lost and it was a bit overwhelming. We decided to take a break and eat lunch on Freedom Square, or I should, as an Estonian Citizen (yes, I am) say: Vabaduse Väljak. I didn't know what would come, what would happen and I was very nervous, obviously. I would never have guessed that a few months later, I would call this city and this square my second home. I knew the heart of the city and I really felt at home. The city is very comparable to Antwerp. It almost has the same number of inhabitants.
On monday the 26th, the first day of the semester started. We all gathered in the old music hall and had a nice, warming welcome. It's really weird to think all those new, strange faces, would be people I got to know very well. I still miss a lot to this day.
One week later I got to meet my composition teacher, Helena Tulve.
Based on my portfolio I had sent during the application of my Erasmus exchange, I had the privilege to be assigned with her. At first, I tried to learn more about her by listening to her music and searching information about her on the internet. If I have to be honest, I was pretty scared at first. Websites like wikipidea portrayed her as a serialst composer, something that for some reason frightens me instantly. It is definetly not my kind of style or technique as a composer.
Anyway, she is a well known and great composer so I only could be very thankful. But when I actually met her, my fears and insecurities disappeared entirely. She truly is a very warm and friendly person. I had amazing conversations with her, not only about music but also about life and ordinary things. And that's what makes a great teacher in my eyes. I learned so much from her, often just by listening to her experiences or stories. Helena, if you are reading this, I would like to thank you a million times for having me as your student and I will never forget you. Maybe I didn't tell her that enough at the end of my journey.
Let's say I had a really 'free' semester, back in Tallinn. I will never forget the conversation I had with Helena about modernism. She told me that Estonia in particular, didn't really experience this kind of modernism that had struck in the west of Europe during the 20th century. Therefore, a lot of composers, like René Espere, Tõnu Kõrvits and Toivu Tulev have a style which is more related to post-modernism or doesn't have anything to do with modernism. Of course, they studied 'Western' music and it would be dumb to say they aren't influenced by it. But still, I never thought about this like that. Inspired and influenced by all the music I got to listen to there, I noticed that my music was going in that direction too. There is nothing wrong with that, but when I came back to Belgium, I had to wake up from a far dream.
Let's listen to a piece that blew my mind and is still one of my favorite compositions from my compostition and orchestration teacher, Tõnu Kõrvits:
While listening to this music, I remember the amazing semester I had, where I grew as a composer, as a person and where I have made a lot of friends for life. It is with pain in my heart I have to write and think about the fact that this is a chapter that has been closed. I have specific memories listening to this music, because I attended the premiere in the Estionian Concert Hall. I was invited by the composer himself. From Tõnu, I learned to orchestrate in a way I had never done before. He 'forced' me to think smaller and this made me to be more creative with the orchestra. Besides these lessons, he also gave comments and feedback on my compositions and guided me in the process. It was mainly choir music which I am still very proud of, thanks Tõnu!
During the semester, we got to meet and talk to other famous composers and musicians like: Thomas Adès, Toshio Hosokawa, Michael Pärt and many others. These are memories I will keep with me for the rest of my life. I have had the chance to chat in person with the music editor of the Hobbit franchise, composed by Howard Shore: Michael Pärt, who is the son of Arvo Pärt. Maybe I am not a big fan of this soundtrack (I like LOTR more, of course) but it is still something really big and something I look up to being a young composer in love with film music.
We had a lot of masterclasses where we, like I said, met composers and musicians. For example Toshio, who was a really shy and polite person. But he was so nice, we could ask anything and talk about whatever we wanted. He gave a masterclass about his journey and student life in Germany where he adapted his traditional and cultural language as a Japanese, in modern werstern music.
I could write a thousand more things about my life in Tallinn, Estonia. But the feeling of nostalgia while writing this and all the memories I have from this musical adventure are too strong to write down. In short, I had the best time of my life and I learned and grew a lot. Thanks to my teacher Wim Henderickx, I got the opportunity to make this adventure and return stronger and more independent. I will never forget. Thanks.
